THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE MARRIAGE (Part 4)

 

Sub-topic: LESSONS FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN

Listen, when you or when others make a mistake and you don’t learn from it, you fall into the trap of making that same mistake again and you keep moving in a cycle of mistakes. SO, LEARN FROM YOUR OWN MISTAKES AND DON’T FORGET TO LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS ALSO.

As a result of the above fact, I will be drawing out some lessons that you can learn from the mistakes made in the Garden of Eden.

For those who don’t know the story, here is a summary: Adam, the first man created was placed in a garden with all the things he needed. But he was alone, so, God created a companion and he chose that companion (Eve) as wife. The serpent deceived Eve into disobeying God. She ate the forbidden fruit and gave it to her husband to eat as well.

THE LESSONS

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Someone once said, ‘If Adam was spending time with Eve, she wouldn’t have spoken with the serpent…’.well that is the person’s opinion.

My opinion is this: IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR THE MAN TO ALWAYS BE WITH THE WOMAN, SO A MAN SHOULD ALLOW THE WOMAN TO BE OCCUPIED. As you go to work, allow your wife to also go to her own work place. An idle mind they say is the devil’s workshop.

I have heard of situations where the man refuses to allow the woman to work. This may be for reasons best known to the man but the disadvantages of this is more than the advantages. When someone is idle, it gives room for so many bad thoughts to creep in and many bad advices to take root and the aftermath is always disastrous.

Don’t solely take decisions that will affect you and your spouse all by yourself. As long as the decision you are about to make will affect your spouse, you have to carry them along and not take the decision on their behalf. This particularly applies to life altering decisions. Put heads together to decide on important and life changing issues; remember that two heads are better than one.

In the Garden of Eden, Eve took the decision that will affect her and her spouse all by herself and the consequence wasn’t palatable.

The man is the head of the home and he needs to have laid down rules (whether verbal or written) that are known to every member of that family because where there is no law, there is no sin. You can hardly hold anyone responsible for what you never told them not to do. God is the only One that has the right to hold Eve responsible in this case. Every responsible leader must reiterate instructions in the home from time to time for orderliness sake. Adam never had a laid down rule before he left, so his blame on Eve does not hold much water.

There is always a hierarchy: in this case; God to Adam, Adam to Eve.

Be careful of the kind of advise you listen to or take as one wrong decision can alter your life forever; even the lives of generations yet unborn. Eve and Adam’s wrong decision affected all human races: they took the serpent's advice to eat the forbidden fruit.

Husbands! it is not all decisions your wife tries to convince you to take that is right. Wives! it is not all suggestions your husband gives you that is right. BE CAREFUL AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER HOW SPIRITUAL YOUR SPOUSE IS, HE OR SHE IS STILL HUMAN AND CAN MAKE MISTAKES. SO, THINK IT THROUGH!

Get to know your spouse. Study your spouse; especially before marriage. When God brought Eve to Adam, because he liked her, he married her almost immediately. He didn’t even know her or take time to study her and know her temperament. This had its own effect on the negative events that followed after their marriage. YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR SPOUSE THAT IS WHY COURTSHIP IS VERY IMPORTANT. BE INTENTIONAL.

Written by

Elizabeth Oduwaye Martins

Life Skills/Youth Counsellor