ELIZABETH ODUWAIYE LIFESKILLS COUNSEL

  But I'm making a mistake that needs to be corrected ASAP!  Loving children is not bad. But where do we draw the line and toughen up?  Loving children is something that comes easily & naturally to me. It's like a calling, in fact, A GIFT.  And this has always beeen obvious because even before I became a mother, I had so many children in my corner that I took care of (little ones and teenagers). I was so loving towards these children that the parents that appreciate what I do used to hand over their children to me (they literally 'dash' me their children 😂). Those who felt threatened by the love I showed their children began to react negatively. They feel like I was trying to take their place in their children's life.  It was that serious!  I have started having my own children for more than 14 years now but the problem is that, most times, I am 'too' loving that I don't know where to draw the line between pampering and exerting discipline I am seei...

  Traits An Emotionally Intelligent Person Will Never Exhibit  * They never shy away from vulnerability * They never take things too personal * They don't hold grudge * They don't transfer aggression * They never give up on themselves * They don't maintain unrealistic expectations * They don't ignore the emotion of others * They don't blame others * They don't act based on impulses * They don't dwell on past mistakes  * They won't say yes unless they really want to * They don't make unverified assumptions * They don't force their opinion on others * They don't waste their time with just anybody * They don't forget little details * They are quite open minded * They have instinct for supporting others, including strangers * They won't break a promise * They will not judge others casually * They stay calm under pressure  * They resolve conflict effectively  * They are not disrespectful, they treat co-worker with empathy Image Credit: Gor...

  If on the sea, use the life jacket.  If working in a polluted environment (smoke infested) or industrial waste, use the nose mask.  When tired, rest...  Please value your life enough to save it.

  I remember very well when a minister mounted the altar with the intention of talking about church members' appearance. She was so judgemental. She said something similar to this: "Some of you, you come to church, you paint your face. It is not good. It is not acceptable before God"....  So, she decided to back up her claim with a Biblical reference. Immediately she opened and started reading the scripture, I saw the confusion on her face. She was firstly confused, then she made me confuse because I started to wonder why she was confused 😂 She was perplexed. She read Luke 6:37 "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned...". From her expression, it was clear that that was not the part of the Bible she intended to read. But I believe God wanted her to read out loud her own scolding and reprimand.  And it was immediate. 😂 Another instance was when another woman condemned the dressing of a teenager who wore trousers. The te...

  I just witnessed something now and my heart broke. A man got a bad news call while driving. The caller told him that his younger brother died. As a result the man driving had an accident.  I have some things to say about this. A moral we can all derive one lesson or two from. This message is to those people who are fond of calling people to relay bad news to them INSENSITIVELY. . .  First and foremost, if you don't have a choice but to give bad news through the phone to someone, ask questions before you do. Questions like "Where are you?" or/and "Are you driving?" or/and "Is someone with you?". The reason why you need to ask all or some of these questions is simple. 👉Your caution can save a life. . .  Don't break a bad news to a person without considering the state of their mind, health or circumstance they are in. Be sensitive. Be empathic. Be intentional. It doesn't take anything to go the extra mile in your relations with others. Please e...

When I say music, I mean the right kind of music oooo.  Like seriously. How?  For me, whenever I need inspiration, all I need to do is play the right kind of songs. When I'm in a sad mood, music helps me to feel lively again! Sometimes, when a Gospel music is on, lots of important things that I need to do are being brought back to my remembrance. THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO PICK THE RIGHT KIND OF SONGS. Some songs will lead you to sin. Why? Because of bad lyrics. Some can even reduce your self-esteem. While some will give you the inspiration or idea you need for the next level. SO, CHOOSE YOUR SONGS WITH CAUTION!  Today I'm going to share with you my play list . See this as a privilege please (just a candid advise 🤷🏻). I will start with the play list I had last December because it may bless someone. As for the ones for this year, I just started the compilation.  Here they are: (December 2022 & January 2023 play list). I hope these helps YO...

 Come, let me gist you...  I just heard the full story this year; on the 28th day of August 2022 to be precise. I have always known as it was mentioned in between discussions from time to time that I have been carried into an airplane as a baby but I wasn't privy to the full gist. So, I asked questions.  My uncle of blessed memory made it happen!  Let me tell you about my uncle; his name is Rare Admiral Victor Oladipupo Oduwaiye. He was a very famous man in his time. A man who dined with the crème de la crème of the then Nigerian society. He was very wealthy but humble and kind. This man was full of love, kindness and selflessness. He was good natured and was a people-person. He embraced others; no matter their financial or social status.  He helped improve the lives of a lot of people and my dad was a beneficiary.  He was contributory to my father's education and initial progress in life as a youth. He made sure even after my dad got married, he was a supp...

Like, seriously, it baffles me. In fact, it amazes me. Maybe because I do not see admitting my fault as a big deal. I like to admit when I am wrong and apologize when need be. That is why it amazes me when people will rather lose years of meaningful relationship and friendship than say the simple words 'I am sorry'.  It is worthy of note though, that admitting your wrong and saying you are sorry to the offended party doesn't stop there. It goes beyond just saying it, you have to actually mean it when you say it. Some people say they are sorry just because they want that episode to pass. Then, they go and commit the same blunder again or even worse the next time. That is not good at all. I use the phrase 'not good' for lack of a stronger one.  See, saying sorry for your wrong doing (when you are sincere) does not reduce your person, worth or importance in any way. As far as I'm concerned, I think it increases your worth. It shows you have admitted your wrong and ...

If you are very conversant with the current news. you will realise that what has been trending in the news is the claim that Father Mbaka accused Mr Peter Obi (the Labour Party presidential aspirant) of being stingy. According to the news, we learnt that Father Mbaka even went further to discourage people from voting Mr Obi in as the Nigerian President come 2023 because 'he is stingy'. This has been the brouhaha in the news in recent times.  Admist this hullabaloo I have been able to learn a lesson or two. Follow me as I share the lessons learnt: 📌  When a person tries to expose your own weakness, they succeed in exposing theirs more. When a person tries to expose your flaws, most times, it reveals how unforgiving, bitter, or envious they are. 📍In life, no matter how good, respectable or accomplished you are, some people will still speak ill of you. There is a Yoruba adage that is interpreted as: "Even if you pound yam and share in the market place, leaving no one out, y...

 BEYOND THE PHYSICAL ************************* I was busy cleaning, one morning and I had my back turned towards the entrance. Someone came along and greeted “ekaro ma” (“good morning ma”). He saw only my back view. I was about to answer him, but as I turned to face him to do so; he saw my face and his countenance changed and he said “hmmn, good morning”. I smiled and asked him why he changed to English Language immediately he saw my face. He told me that I don't look like someone that understands Yoruba. I smiled and answered him, “Mo gbo Yoruba daada” (I'm quite fluent in speaking the Yoruba Language).       This scenario above happens a lot in our everyday life. People tend to conclude things about you after taking just one look at you. Sometimes, these conclusions are positive, sometimes they are negative.  They look at you and decide: ‘he is a banker’, ‘she is a flirt’ ‘he is wicked’, ‘she doesn't know how to cook’, ‘she is lazy’ and the list goes on. ...

  ********************* There is a fact we need to always take cognisance of: WORDS are POWERFUL! WORDS CAN EITHER MAKE OR BREAK A PERSON OR A RELATIONSHIP. Words can move a person to tears or propel laughter. Someone once said, “Words are sometimes more destructive than nuclear bomb”. Well, it's true, so you need to be careful how you speak to people or address a person. Some hurtful words can make the recipient feel so bad, feel mentally battered or even begin to have suicidal thoughts. A thought that just came to my mind concerning the effect of words is this: Comedians make people laugh, what do they use? WORDS! The suicide bombers are manipulated to carry out their dastardly act through what? WORDS! They are usually not forced to become suicide bombers, all their manipulators use are WORDS. YOU SEE THE POWER OF WORDS? God made the world through words. That means IF THE RIGHT WORDS CAN CREATE, THE WRONG WORDS CAN ALSO DESTROY WHAT HAS BEEN CREATED. Be mindful of what you say....

**************** One of the greatest lessons I have learnt in life is that I can't do things all on my own, neither can you. WE NEED PEOPLE. We really do. Let me use MOSES as a case study. When the Israelites were in the war front. Moses had the onus to perform his duty as the leader. Nevertheless, he couldn't do it on his own. He needed someone to help him to raise his hand up for the Israelites to win the battle (Exodus 17:8-16). Another instance was when Moses kept doing the leadership work all by himself. The workload was becoming too much for him alone. Thank God he had a father-in-law who could give him GOOD ADVICE AND COUNSEL (Exodus 18:17-27). Maybe he wouldn't have lived up to 120 years of age. God created us to interrelate and depend on one another. Nevertheless, some people prefer to do things all on their own. People who do this, do it for different reasons… it may be that they just like being independent, it may be because of pride, low self esteem, insecu...

Empathy means identification with or understanding of the thoughts, feelings, or emotional state of another person. Children are usually more Empathic than adults. They easily identify with other people's feelings. That is why they hate violence in all its forms.  Have you noticed that when you cry, they cry? That is how Empathic they can be.  If adults can have this virtue, the world would be a better place. In Matthew 18:3, the Bible says: "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven". If only we can become like little children; not in their immaturity, but their innocence, their loyalty, their Empathy... the list of their enviable virtue is endless. Have you also noticed that they don't bear grudges? Wow. As long as their mind has not been 'polluted'; we can learn a whole lot of lessons from them. Look at a child around you today and learn a beautiful virtue from him/her. The...

  LACK OF LOVE Lack of love has caused a whole lot of wicked happenings. Lack of true; pure love has made people commit too many atrocities. These days it gets worse. Can you imagine a man 'slaughtered' like a cow. Imagine some set of people  coming together to form a group to waste lives (kill) because of senseless or selfish reasons. Is it not alarming that a woman can be tortured with pepper poured into her private part? No matter what, why must the torture be taken to that extreme?! These and many more are the things that lack of love has caused and is still causing. With love, there will be no jealousy, no hatred, no deceit, no killing, no strive, no chaos. People need to love one another more.The solution to the problems we are encountering is LOVE; IN POLITICS AND OTHER AREAS, WE NEED LOVE!