WHO DO WE BLAME?

  ATTENTION please! 

I need everyone's attention. 

I call your attention to this not because it is a new development, but because THERE HAS TO BE A WAKE UP CALL. 

It's tiring to see everyone sliding bye like this is not a big deal. 

There is need for a positive change.

We all need to play our roles for that positive change to happen. 

Have you noticed that the rate of divorce has sky rocketed in recent times? 

I am not writing this to advise couples or discuss ways to prevent divorce. I am not a marriage counsellor. 

This write up is created in order for us to see how we can tackle a long standing problem from the root.

 

Enough of picking the problems from the surface and trying to proffer a solution. 

The divorce rate these days is alarming! 

And my question is this: 

Who is to blame? Is it the children, their parents, the school, the society or the marriage counsellors? 

The couple involved in a marriage have work to do to make the marriage work, but so many factors can be a hindrance. 

Factor like their upbringing. 

These couple didn't fall from heaven, they came from a home.

Whatsoever they were taught or were not taught in their formative years affects who they become eventually. And this would have either a good or bad influence in their relationships: particularly their marriage. 

Is the school helping matters? 

Are they correcting the behavioural excesses of the children or all they care about is their academic performance? 

What is the contribution of the society? 

Social norms often determine the role each spouse takes in a marriage. Is the right information disseminated to make marriage positively impacted by the society? 

Thought provoking. 

After all said and done, parents have the lion share of the responsibility. 

Parents have to wake up to their role in the upbringing of their children. 

Parents! Train children that are marriage-worthy!

Overtime, the focus has been so much on the girl child. 

Telling them: 

"This is how to behave in your husband's house". 

"This is how to treat your inlaws" and so on. 

Who lectures the male child on how to treat a lady? Who tells him what his responsibilities are as a husband and father? 

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS as the parent of a male child. 

Do you like the rate of separation and divorce? 

You need to check the statics of divorce in Nigeria. 

In Abuja alone, over 4000 couples applied for divorce this year 2023.

Chai! Who Do Us This Thing?! 

At this rate, will there still be NORMAL marriages in the next 20 years? 

Where did our Parents, Society or School go Wrong in Children Upbringing? Who do we blame? Is it the marriage counsellors? 

In fact, it is time to address the marriage Counsellors now. 

Most society, churches or even mosques have marriage counsellors. 

Marriage counsellors! You need to go and update your curriculums!

I say this because if marriage counsellors are on the increase and the divorce rate is still this high. Then something is wrong with the curriculums used. 

We need practical counselling not guess work! We need something that is applicable to this time and age!

ALL HANDS NEED TO BE ON DERK IF THE POSITIVE CHANGE WE SEEK MUST BE ACHIEVED. 

We all have a role to play for this change to happen. 

That is because even if you are not a parent, or you are not married. 

If you are not a marriage counsellor, or an educator, you are still a part of the society.

If we must have a functional society in the next 20 to 25 years, then we need to have better and functional marriages.

Prayer is important, but God won't do for us what we ought to do for ourselves.

Let us all do our parts for a better tomorrow. 

Written by 

Elizabeth Oduwaiye  

Life Skills/Youth Counsellor